Bertie Bookkeeper diary: Peace in our time

Jun 15
2 min read

The White House Lodge

15 June, 2026

Bertie Bookkeeper diary entry.

The Colony is abuzz.

At last we have an agreement with the Northern Colony.

Now all beavers in this vast region will be able to use Bookkeeper Strait, a key waterway for the transport of logs.

The announcement comes after many weeks of arguing and bitterness.

Although we must remain wary of a sudden breakdown in relations, it appears that we can hope that things will remain calmer for at least the foreseeable future.

It was also great to see the price of logs fall on the NasLog stock exchange.

We can all breathe a sigh of relief.

The Orange Beaver from the White House Lodge led negotiations.

He said:

"Look, what we did with Bookkeeper Strait, nobody thought it could be done. They said it was impossible.

"The fake news, the failing New Log Times, they said, 'Oh, it’s a blockade, the logs are gone, it’s going to be closed forever.' But we made a deal. A tremendous deal. The deal with the Northern Colony is complete, okay? Completely finished.

"And I am announcing right now, total authorisation, beautiful authorisation for the toll-free opening of the Strait. Permanently toll-free! They wanted to charge a massive toll, a 20 percent fee on every log. Can you believe it?

"But I said no. No tolls. We are removing our beaver blockade immediately.

"And you know, we had a secret mission out there. Incredible beavers, our beavers. Every single night, they were ferrying out millions of logs, millions and millions, totally safe. The Northern Colony didn't even know!

"They just figured it out today. But now, it’s all open. Beautiful, free navigation. So to all the beavers of the world: start your tails. Start them up. Let the logs flow. It’s a beautiful thing."

Asked by the assembled media beavers just what the conflict has achieved since late February, the Orange Beaver just smiled.

Beavers have been left asking, just what was the f-ing point of all that then?