Bertie Bookkeeper diary: SmartLog ban

Jun 17
2 min read

The Whitehall Lodge

17 June, 2026

Bertie Bookkeeper diary entry.

The Whitehall Lodge did it.

They banned SmartLogs for our young beavers.

We are all worried that our younger beavers spent too long on their SmartLogs and not enough on dam building guides.

And we all feel the tech beavers have too much control in our lives.

Platforms such as Boogle, Beta and Beavazon wield far too much power.

And we are ever more concerned about the march of Beaver Enhanced Intelligence (BEI). Platforms such as Brok and Banthropic are also becoming more powerful and influential.

So hats off to Keir Beaver who may have achieved a breakthrough.

He has, of course, to get the other beavers in the lodge to agree in the autumn.

And the worry is of course, that the ban won't be in place until early next year and that might be too late for many of our kits.

This is what Keir Beaver had to say:

"Look, let’s be absolutely clear about this. For years, we saw a total lack of grip when it came to late-night scrolling. What this landmark ban represents is a proper, fully-costed line in the sand.

"Now, as a beaver, I know exactly what it’s like. Every beaver wants their kit to grow up safe and happy, but instead, our young beavers are trapped in an infinite loop of algorithmic chaos. That is a broken system. And this lodge is laser-focused on fixing the foundations.

"We are introducing robust, forensic age assurance. Make no mistake, this is about tough choices. We are going further than anywhere else. We will take on the tech giants—methodically, step-by-step—to ensure kits are no longer subjected to the predatory structures of BikBok, Bapchat, or Binstagram.

"It won't be easy. It will face resistance from powerful corporations. But by implementing overnight curfews on scrolling and blocking stranger beaver chat, we are quite simply giving kits their kithoods back. No half-measures. No sticking plasters. Just steady, serious, forensic governance for working families. Thank you."

Common sense at last.